The New Girl in Church
Can you remember a time when you were the new guy or gal in the room? Maybe your heart raced as you dressed and had your breakfast that morning. Maybe you second-guessed even leaving the house. Life presents us with daily opportunities to grow and make friends who can become like family, but if we can’t get out of the door because of the fear and anxious thoughts that keep us in, we can be robbed of the blessing God has waiting for us, and rob others of the blessing we can be to them.
I have been the new girl many times over. As a young woman, I did not let my fears overcome my desire to get out in the world, live my purpose, meet people, and make a positive change in my community. But, when I became a mother, my confidence was shaken. New fears entered my heart and mind, and suddenly I was an anxiety-ridden shell of what I once was. What changed? In the years my children were born, we relocated to five countries. I was navigating new cities, taxi and bus routes, searching for schools, doctors, grocery stores and a church home, all the while dealing with the absence of my husband due to his travel schedule. The daily adventures of motherhood brought long days, sleepless nights, and sick children.
In many countries, I was fortunate enough to meet women who, in the absence of my mother and friends back home in the United States, provided a sounding board and assurance that I was going to be okay. Unfortunately, most of them were not believers, and while they became good friends, I longed for sisters in Christ.
In our church in Spain, there was a small children’s class during the worship service, but my children were still too young to attend. I was sitting in a small room where the pastor taught, doing my best to hear the word, and receive some encouragement that day, but my three-year-old wanted more snacks, the two-year-old needed a pamper, and the youngest was ready for a bottle. I often felt it would have been better to stay home, but I yearned for fellowship with other believers. One year we lived in Istanbul, Turkey, and I was unable to attend a small gathering of Christians for fear we would become a target. My youngest was only six months old, and I could not bring myself to take my three children to the meetings. Anxiety and fear abounded during those years.
After twelve years of traveling Europe, my husband and I, along with our children returned to Texas in the Summer of 2017 for our annual holidays near family. I had been dealing with some excruciating physical pain during the previous year, but doctors in Spain assured me I was healthy. Upon returning to Texas, my doctor here informed me I would need immediate surgery or have tests every six months and wait for the already aggressive pre-cancerous cells to take over my body and become cancer. We did not have medical insurance in Texas, but we knew we couldn’t travel back to Spain for this operation. We chose surgery, and my husband turned down a job offer in Spain in order to take care of me, and our three children as I recovered. The night before my surgery was scheduled, Hurricane Harvey hit. The surgery was postponed another week and the next day I would receive family members in my home after they had been rescued by boat from their flooded homes near FM 2854. I spent the next week helping our family pull up floors and clear debris from the storm. The surgery was successful on September 7th and tests revealed doctors had removed all the aggressive pre-cancerous cells.
As Fall neared and we found ourselves staying in Texas for the school year, I would begin the usual search for schools and doctors. Here I was again, the new girl, but in my hometown after seventeen years away. The recovery from surgery brought new physical, mental and emotional challenges. Suddenly I didn’t “feel” like getting out of the house. I felt guilty for being the cause of my husband putting his career on hold. I felt sad that I uprooted my children from the schools and friends they had in Spain for the previous four years, and I was searching for how God would use any of this for his glory.
A few months later, the mother of my son’s classmate would walk by my house, and she would stop to say hello and invite me to a Bible study for moms. I had a new excuse every time she would invite me. The truth was, I was tired. I didn’t want to start over again. I was avoiding opening myself to new people.
One day she invited me again, and I finally asked, “Where is this Bible study?” “At West Conroe Baptist Church, “ she answered. “That’s my church!” I responded.
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Last October, I walked into the Garden Room at 10 am on a Friday. Cyndi Fields was leading us in a study called “No Other Gods.” In those next few weeks, I would begin to meet women in our church who welcomed me and encouraged me to volunteer and serve in Bethlehem City with my children. I saw myself in many of the mothers I met. They were women who had just relocated to the area, new moms who didn’t have their families near them, and women struggling with raising growing children when their husbands were not home often because of work.
In our second to the last meeting, I met Cheryl Padgett, who informed us that the group was seeking new leadership, or we would have to close the doors on Friday mornings. Cheryl has been a guiding and connecting force by leading, organizing and then volunteering to teach the school-aged children during the Moms class. Under Cheryl and Cyndi, Moms Real & Redeemed has become a close-knit group of dedicated women who seek the Lord and guidance from Godly women. What started as a prayer of a few young mothers eight years ago, developed into a loving ministry that also gave way to the Apples of
I raised my hand that Friday and said I would do what it would take to keep the class on the calendar. My mother graciously offered to lead with me, and Cheryl committed to leading the class for homeschool children. With the support and encouragement of Pastor Jay, along with the efforts of Stan Blossom, Chris Stanley, and staff, we have had a successful re-launch this semester. In our first meeting on February 8, we had 37 ladies in class and 44 children in childcare.
This time of Bible Study, breakfast and fellowship is open to all women who have cared for or are caring for children. We have grandmothers, widows, foster moms, single moms, homeschool moms, military wives, and women whose husbands don’t attend church, and this is the only time they can get to God’s house to worship with other believers. We hope more members of our church will join us and share their testimony or join our Moms in prayer and counsel at the table over coffee. Our prayer is that in using Titus 2 as a guide, we can continue to foster relationships among women in our church family. This semester our focus has been studying some of the Names of God. Mary Olivarez has also led two sessions about Craving God and Loving your husband. We open our sessions with a conversation over breakfast, sing songs of worship, and teach and discuss the lesson of the day. The mothers who drop off their children in childcare, enjoy time alone with other women in the Word, something they would not receive otherwise. When our foster moms have just received a new placement this becomes the first church experience for most of these children. Many of the women in our class are faithful servants in children’s ministry, music ministry, life group leaders and other areas and are unable to participate in a life group on Wednesday nights or Sunday mornings.
Please plan on visiting our group or joining. Our prayer is that this ministry would be a bridge to connect families in our church across generations. We use email and a private Facebook group to share encouragement and prayer requests throughout the week. We also record the sessions live within the Facebook group in order for moms to participate even if they have sick children at home or cannot attend and wish to view it at a later time. We are grateful for the church members who have blessed us with a breakfast item along with the recipe to share. If you would like more information on Moms Real & Redeemed, please contact Mary Olivarez, me, or join us at 10 am on Fridays in the Garden Room. Come see what God is doing in the lives of women at West Conroe Baptist Church. The next time you see a mother in our church, at the park or the grocery store, please invite them to join us.
We ask that you would pray that our ministry would bless the women who walk through our doors. We are praying for you as you wake each morning and leave your home to connect with others and be a blessing to them. I am so grateful for a God who can calm our fears and anxious thoughts and give us the strength each day to pick up our cross and follow the path God has set before us. Thank you to the Legacy ministry for being a lighthouse of service and faithfulness that we can all aspire to follow.
In Christ,